I think with the attack on Professor Humayun Azad there can not be any doubt in anyone's mind that a small group of highly motivated individuals are intent upon destroying the independence of Bangladesh and the first to suffer this assault are the intellectuals. If you wish to take away a nations ability to think it is necessary to silence those that represent and best exhibit the conscience of a nation and the hopes of its people. I may be forgiven for sounding theatrical and a little clichéd but in these troubled times resort to objective analysis and commentary does not do justice to the subject at hand. We are not simply discussing the heinous attack on a respected author and decorated literary figure but against all who fought and died in the independence war and are now being betrayed by those who bear the heavy mantle of maintaining and continually safeguarding our independence.

It is with no great surprise that a wave of protest has continued to swell across the country following Fridays 'gory' attack on writer Humayun Azad, with demonstrators voicing demands for the government to step down and accept responsibility. These were the words that one prominent English daily chose to use when describing the situation in the country on the 29th of February 2004. This particular English language daily has been at the forefront of the campaigns protecting freedom of speech and expression and is at the vanguard of those that wish to see a rekindling of the sentiments of the War of Liberation.

I can certainly support much of this and know the feeling of being silenced. There is nothing more frustrating to a writer than being ignored or deliberately censored by the authorities especially if one knows (through peer and international recognition) that the quality and content of the piece is well within the parameters of acceptability. It goes without saying that publication in Bangladesh requires your article or write up to conform to the standards set by the thought police. Any indication that you may pose a threat to the interests of these intellectual philistines necessarily entails disqualification and public opprobrium and your article or book is likely to be passed over in silence without remark, commentary or analysis whatever the merits of the piece.

This should not dishearten any writer preparing him or herself for a career in writing. This is equally the case for anyone who writes only as an amateur not expecting fame or wealth but simply writes for the satisfaction of being true to his beliefs and ideals. I present this optimistic picture since I believe I have discovered certain techniques and methods that should be adopted by writers desiring to see their name in print and who, if fate permits, will be recognized by the elites that guard the gates of literary respectability. In the next few paragraphs I will detail the approach, state of mind, procedure and style required for publication in Bangladesh and for the more ambitious, general acceptability amongst the great and the good.

It is fundamental to appreciate at the outset that your target audience is not the mass of the country's people but principally a few gullible foreigners working in the United States Embassy, the European Union Delegation Consulate and the Indian High Commission. I should add to this list the numerous foreigners and their local assistants working within the NGO sector and civil society. It is not necessary that they be able to read your works as you will be primarily writing in Bangla provided it is eventually reviewed favourably in the English press and you are given accolades for your penetrating insights into the human condition. All this will come naturally with time but will become a gushing overflow once you enter the haloed sanctums of the literati.

This may appear overly cynical and opportunistic but as we all know the ordinary people of this country are on the whole ignorant, unclean and powerless with very traditional and conservative tastes - so why waste your valuable time trying to convince them or even attempt to cater to their needs as they will never be able to afford your books or have the inclination to read or understand them. I think it would be too much to ask any writer to seek to educate this worthless bunch of misfits. Your purpose should be simply to confuse and confound them with long words and exploit them at every opportunity and exude the aura that you are really working and writing for them.

It may be useful to include amongst your audience the large number of bored housewives and teenage girls who are incapable of discernment and so books aimed at this group should contain an element of mild pornography and a large helping of sentimentally and catch phrases such as 'women's empowerment'. One should not feel guilty of exploitation and stereotyping or manufacturing to base emotions as you are not pretending to write anything of quality and certainly not as a contender for the Booker or Pulitzer Prize. It has become a truism that if you can annoy enough Muslims you are assured a place in the pantheon of literary celebrity whether or not your books are worthy of national or international recognition or says anything constructive or thought provoking or new.

It is important that the title of your article or book clearly establishes your credentials as a freethinker (meaning secular humanist). Anything faintly religious or Islamic should be instantly discarded or abandoned and more pertinently if it is possible to find the most demeaning adjectives for Islam that should be used instead. This will almost guarantee you a favorable hearing from the Americans and the French. In this respect, it is imperative to avoid the words 'headscarves' and 'Guantanamo Bay' alongside the word human rights. Never question America or Europe's role to dictate the norms of human rights law and apply it selectively to Muslim countries. Your leaders need their help to take over the country so don't bite the hand that feeds your leaders. Forget that this appears contradictory to the ideas of freethinking as much of what you will learn from this essay will not make any sense.

The next step is to belabor your commitment to the ideals and sentiments of the Language Movement and Liberation War on as many occasions as possible and in as many paragraphs as humanly sensible. It is irrelevant whether you were born before or after these events and it is immaterial whether any member of your family fought in that war and died. It is also not accepted dogma that the Liberation War was at least in part a war against exploitation and the unaccountability of oppressive rulers and the rights of the people to overthrow such a regime as this would open a Pandora's Box of unwanted speculation for all concerned. You must learn to accept certain things without understanding and never to question why.

It is essential that you position yourself against the anti-liberation forces helpfully identified by an opposition party and you must idolize the role of Bangabandhu Sheikh Muhibur Rahman during the war, although he was in custody during the entire period. It would be considered sacrilege to have alternative views on any of the above and one must ignore the much touted notion of General Ziaur Rahman declaring independence. Even if you could care less who declared independence and are just happy that you live in a free and independent Bangladesh and have never had your patriotism questioned you must still obstinately recite the above mantra in all articles, books and public speeches.

It is also useful if you train yourself to speak from both sides of your mouth. So while you are applauding the heroism of the Bengalis during the Liberation War you should demonize Bangladesh by emphasizing its intolerant character, Islamic extremism, terrorism and state sponsored oppression of the Hindu minority and make sure your remarks reach the international press so that they can further revile the country. Again, it is entirely of no importance or consequence whether you in fact believe any of this or whether you have any solid evidence to back up your allegations and charges. You must blindly and unquestioningly follow what is produced and publicized by the Indian media and the fanatical Hindu web sites and on every occasion where the opportunity arises, blame Islamic fundamentalists and the ruling party for any deplorable and outrageous incident regardless of whether this hampers police investigations or not. At this point, many may feel a moral disquiet at these conditions for celebrity and stardom but you will feel relieved that honesty and integrity are not part of the deal and so thereby lessening the burden for any novice to these arts of dissimulation.

It is necessary, once you have acquired the above skills, to actively support the one party that has any legitimate claim (self proclaimed) to the Language Movement and the Liberation war. You must be prepared to sacrifice your own personal well being to the interests of the party and its leader while conveniently ignoring the lesser interests of the nation and your own education and future prospects. You must espouse the ideas of Bengali nationalism although this appears to exclude many religious minorities and tribal groups. You must constantly pay homage to Rabindranath Tagore and the Father of the Nation. It is incumbent that you acclaim the virtues of the Father but never allude to his undemocratic and authoritarian tendencies. You must somehow combine praise for the Father with that of liberal democratic values and under no circumstances suggest that the 15th August 1975 incident falls squarely within liberal democratic tradition as espoused by John Locke, Thomas Hobbes, Hans Kelsen, Karl Popper and other numerous political philosophers.

You should justify the use of hartal although undemocratic when used with the threat of force and leaving no choice to the public but to comply. That this seems contrary to liberal democratic tradition is obvious but the best solution is to blame the government for everything that goes wrong even if the government is so inept that it doesn't even know what it is doing wrong. This last skill is difficult to attain as your position changes if your party comes to power and the opposition decide to calls hartals. This is made more difficult when your leader categorically renounces the use of hartal when in power but adopts it when in opposition. A further complication is accepting that you are justified in overthrowing a democratically elected government by whatever means necessary as this should raise doubts to any normal person about the legitimacy of the Father and his regime after the Fourth Amendment of the Constitution but no one really remembers or studies history so forget about all that also. Some eminent writers have mastered this last skill and made it into a fine art but only after many years of practice, self-delusion, cunning and guile.

Each of the above conditions and requirements cannot be taken separately but must be swallowed whole. All these elements must be combined in the one person and so an unthinking and uncritical candidate is always suitable. If you can accept these simple rules and formulas you will become a black belt in literary circles and have your work praised and published. It is also advisable to grow your hair long and wear over sized garments as it adds to the credibility. A final cardinal rule is never to assume that you are writing for the truth.

POSTSCRIPT

None of the above is a reflection on Professor Humayun Azad as I have never read any of his works and was not aware of his stature until a few days prior to the attack when reviews (about his latest book showcased at the Dhaka Book Fair) started appearing in the newspapers. I was not even aware that he was a subject of controversy until the attack. My only intention is to demonstrate to the reader some of the bias and prejudices prevalent in our society which is merely a reflection of a different form of fundamentalism from what we have become accustomed to.

This article was written in the spirit of sarcasm which I thought appropriate after reading some opinions and views that have been expressed about the present crisis in Bangladesh and its relation to the attack on the professor. I was particularly offended by the slanted and uncritical comments of Mr. A.H. Jaffor Ullah in his article 'Humayun Azad: The Marked Man.' It appears only that these types of articles now get published in Bangladesh but it has nothing to commend it except its defamation of the Bangladeshi people and the country. Writing from the United States I must question his ability to analyze fairly the situation in Bangladesh and I would like to know why he thinks 'freethinkers' and 'secularists' are in a better position to provide answers. From my own conclusions I doubt whether they are any more objective than the so called Islamic fundamentalists and I doubt whether they have a monopoly on the truth. Mr. Jaffor Ullah's concept of freethinker appears to me only the other side of the Wahabi coin. It is Mr. Jaffor Ullah's freethinkers and secularists that are making the present situation in Bangladesh untenable leading to god knows what. This is in no way to exonerate the present government who has dismally failed to run the country whether from the PMO or Hawa Bhaban. It is simply that the criticisms of the freethinkers are aimed at the wrong place and the people are conscious that the Awami League has an even more intolerant agenda.

Ultimately, Mr. A.H. Jaffor Ullah's 'freethinker' is not a freethinker at all nor does he belong to the Western liberal tradition of which I know a great deal about.